How to reject a wedding invitation?
L.A. Angel asked:
A good friend of mine is getting married next year in the countryside of France. She asked me to do her hair and I immediately said, “duh, of course I’ll do your hair!” She said, “good, because you know I’m getting married in France right??” (I forgot she wanted to get married there and assumed it would be local)
My dilemma(s) are: 1) My husband can’t go and I feel really guilty going to such a beautiful place without him. 2) We’re already going to Kauai next year, and I might not be able to afford to go to France 3 months after Kauai. (especially since I don’t expect him to pay my way)
I feel like a flake and horrible for backing out on her on such a special time in her life. I thought about expressing this to her and giving myself a time limit to save some money, but I just know it’s not going to happen and I’m going to end up disappointing her. Any ideas on how I can tell her that I won’t be able to go?
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A good friend of mine is getting married next year in the countryside of France. She asked me to do her hair and I immediately said, “duh, of course I’ll do your hair!” She said, “good, because you know I’m getting married in France right??” (I forgot she wanted to get married there and assumed it would be local)
My dilemma(s) are: 1) My husband can’t go and I feel really guilty going to such a beautiful place without him. 2) We’re already going to Kauai next year, and I might not be able to afford to go to France 3 months after Kauai. (especially since I don’t expect him to pay my way)
I feel like a flake and horrible for backing out on her on such a special time in her life. I thought about expressing this to her and giving myself a time limit to save some money, but I just know it’s not going to happen and I’m going to end up disappointing her. Any ideas on how I can tell her that I won’t be able to go?
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Say “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot you wanted to get married in France. There’s just no way I can afford to go.”
Then offer to do her hair in the presence of someone who will be at the wedding, so you can teach them to do it the way she wants.
P.S. A lot changes in a year. When she realizes how few people will actually pay to go to France, she just might change her plans.
November 24th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Just tell her.
November 26th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
explain to her that youve been saving for this special trip for you and your husband and as much as youd like to attend hers and do her hair. you just can not afford both.sorry if im out of place but that is a long trip just to do someones hair.
November 30th, 2008 at 3:25 am
Be honest with her and let her know finances are tight. If she’s a good friend she’ll understand. Talk to her now so she has time to make other arrangements.
December 1st, 2008 at 5:26 am
have you paid to go to the other place ? if you havent paid anything then save your money to go to france with your husband and after her wedding (1 day) you will have the time for your vacation in a beautiful place together. you can save for the following year to go to the other place.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Are you a professional hairdresser? If you are then you could tell your friend that she will have to pay for your traveling expenses. Or just be very blunt and tell her you are sorry but you wouldn’t possibly be able to make the trip with out your husband and you can not afford the trip for both of you, just to attend her wedding.
December 6th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Tell her the truth if she really is a good friend she will understand.
December 6th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
OK she has to realize that not every person involved in her wedding has the means or money to just pick up and go to France, so you can be honest with her on this one and say that you and your husband have been “looking at your books/finances” (so she knows why it’s taken a bit for you to come out and tell her), and that you don’t think it’s feasible for you to go. Tell her that you’re sorry but you wanted to let her know with enough time for her to make alternate plans. She can’t possibly be upset with you because how can she “force” some one to spend money they don’t have? If she is then she has bigger issues to contend with than just her hair!!!
December 9th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Hi. Just be honest with her. “I really appreciate your confidence in me to do your hair on such a special occasion, but, unfortunately I already have travel plans next year with my husband, so I will no be able to afford to come to your wedding.”
If she is mad, that is her fault. It’s one thing to have a destination wedding say in Florida if you live in Minnesota, but France? That is asking an awful lot from people. She may even end up changing her mind as I don’t see how anyone other than maybe parents will be able to afford a ticket and lodging!
December 11th, 2008 at 1:06 am
Aww. That bloWs. She’ll probably be disapointed but..MAYbe someone will buy your way there
December 13th, 2008 at 3:54 am
Tell her that when you agreed to do her hair, you assumed she meant a local wedding. But there are circumstances in your life that prevent you from going to France.
Don’t feel like a flake. She should have told you where the wedding was *before* asking you if you would do her hair.
December 16th, 2008 at 2:26 am
You don’t say where you live, but I’m assuming it’s somewhere in the U.S. Yes, it’s expensive to go to France, but you said that this girl is a “good friend” of yours. Wouldn’t you want to be at her wedding even if you weren’t going to do her hair? If she is a really good friend, I think you should make plans to go to France and attend her wedding. Maybe she can hook you up with someone else who is going so you can share lodging costs. Be there for your friend.